Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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