You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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