You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
