How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
