i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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