he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
