Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize