Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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