that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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