I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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