Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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