I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
