I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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