i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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