We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
