you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
