Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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