I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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