We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
