But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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