i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
