we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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