i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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