Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
