just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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