i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
