There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
