I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
