You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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