apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
