I have demons in me.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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