Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
