'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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