you guys were way drunker than both of me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
