so that wasnt chicken after all
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We're too hungover to prance.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
