Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Drunk is not a location!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
