can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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