he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
