I skipped work to stalk him.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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