well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
