ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
