i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
