I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
