don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
