he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
