i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize