No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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