Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
