Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
