yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
