I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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