You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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