New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
