You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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