Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
