you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
