btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
