I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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