While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
