When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
